Today, we learn:

  1. Places don’t appreciate being walked all over.
  2. Talking about a faux celeb couple with eight children getting divorced is not as much fun as a one half of a faux celeb couple being baptized in a river in Costa Rica and the other half being hospitalized for a gastric ulcer, but since this is a divorce blog, we’ll talk about the former.

 

Towns have feelings too. When you snub them, they divorce you.

image source: s.wsj.net

The town of Wallingford, England has decided to divorce its twin Luxeuil-les-Bains, France. (And you thought human beings had sole claim over that realm.) For the sake of simplicity, we’ll call them Wally and Lux. So Wally and Lux met one day many years after the Second World War, and decided it would be better to buddy up and encourage a mixing of culture – you know, you bring the hot burlesque dancers, we’ll bring the Scotch. Together, they managed to share and share alike for 30 years, until recently, when Lux started to ignore Wally, and his feelings were hurt. Wally wanted to play soccer with Lux, send exchange students, and even a Christmas card, but Lux snubbed Wally claiming that she had better things to do. Broken-hearted, Wally decided to divorce Lux. Today is therefore a sad day for twin towns all over the world. (Coming Soon to Untied – Marital counseling sessions for twin towns all over the world. Are you a citizen of a twin town? Do you have grievances, and feel like no one is willing to listen to you? Call us! For a paltry $78/ minute, we’ll help you through these difficult times. Untied Magazine Twin Town Counseling Sessions – you can rely on us.)

 

Jon and Kate plus the dreaded ‘D’-word.

image source: evilbeetgossip.film.com

What’s that we hear? Choke! Gag! Gasp! Jon and Kate are approaching… no, no, don’t say it… divorce lawyers? You mean their marriage is falling apart? You could’ve fooled me. I mean, I know that Jon went to that nightclub with that nice girl, but I’m sure they were just friends. And Kate’s bodyguard was just that… a bodyguard. She needs a bodyguard, you know, going to the beach in these economic times is such a dangerous thing. I hear that the sand there, it’s uh, really itchy these days.

-anuya j

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