Today we learn:

  1. If you’re an aspiring politico in India, don’t piss your second wife off. She may make plans for you that involve the words “shoes” and “hit” in the same sentence.
  2. If you are a) a faux celebrity rolling in dough, b) have Peter Andre for a spouse, and c) are getting a divorce, hiring Paul McCartney’s lawyer will be expensive, but you should do it anyway. It’s probably the only time your name will appear alongside McCartney’s in a news item.

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At least do it in person, ninny.

Indian wife mad at husband for telephone divorce

Marriage, as we know, is a many-pronged fork. Religion is one among them. If the religion is Islam, men try and take advantage of the fact that all they have to do is utter the word “talaq” (meaning “divorce”) three times and they are rid of their wives. But when Chand Mohammed, deputy Chief Minister of Haryana, tried to pull a fast one over the phone against his wife, Fiza, not only did she call him out on it, but also involved the media in the game. She knows that the “talaq” is not recognized unless presided over by a priest, and plans to “welcome him by hitting him with shoes. He cannot run away from me and he has to come here to answer my questions. I wanted explanations and reasons behind his betrayal.”

Well, Chand Mohammed better have insurance, is all we are saying.

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I will also be like a Beatle.

Katie Price a.k.a Jordan hires Paul McCartney’s lawyer for a “quickie” divorce

Katie Price aka Jordan has hired Fiona Shackleton to represent her in her divorce proceedings against husband Peter Andre. Shackleton has represented Paul McCartney, Prince Charles and Madonna, among others. Price wants a “quickie” divorce, perhaps as a tribute to her lust life with husband Peter Andre? HAR HAR HAR. That was mean, and so I apologize to Katie Price a.k.a Jordan, the apple of my existence. May she move on with her life soon, and may she twitter about it all the time.

– Anuya Jakatdar